My 2016 started off with a bang. But not the kind of bang from a celebratory champagne cork popping off. The kind that leaves you feeling quite unsettled and ungrounded, like an explosion. My dear grandmother passed away at the age of 96. Not really worth putting into any kind of words how amazing of a woman she was, how special our connection, the lessons she taught me, and the sadness I feel at the end, not only of her life, but a chapter of my family's history and life in Kansas City. This is another blog topic probably for a different blog.
This was the first bang.
And then a series of minor incidents, that when piled on an already broken heart, seem to add to insurmountable heaps: heater busted (in Michigan), my kid went on an eating strike, forgotten homework, taxes mayhem, and I found myself grouchy and scrambling to unpack from vacation, keep up with work, and plan for the next trip: the funeral in Kansas City.
I cope with stress in my own unique ways. Sure, I have my daily meditation which truly does wonders but I've also found that I tend to morph into somewhat of an OCD designer on the prowl. The drug of choice is home accessories and the method to the madness is styling gone wild.
I obsessively style and re-style my home: I fluff pillows, rearrange lamps, color-code the spines of all my hard cover books, trim the brown edges off the leaves of my house plants, re-oil my cutting boards. Basic, normal stuff everyone does, right??? (crickets). Yes, I basically move through my house, one vignette at a time, as though House Beautiful might just pop in for a photo shoot at any second (they did not).
The inside of my toaster is REALLY clean if anyone is wondering.
Being in super homebody mode is what is appealing to me right now. Nothing sounds better than sitting in my living room with my dogs on my lap and a cup of tea (ceramic mug, placed on a vintage wood coaster, while leafing through a coffee table book on, you guessed it, styling your home).
This has been an interesting and reflective eight days of 2016.
I think I've experienced every emotion possible to humans and that's OK. It's much like a storm right now. A friend's blog the other day reminded me of a beautiful mantra, that I have been using during my meditations, "Everything shall pass."
For now, it's all about the comforts of home.
I overheard someone say the other day that things are not important, which of course I'm supposed to agree with being the evolved yogi that I am (sarcasm).
I kept coming back to this and thought to myself: Right now, I am really happy for things. I'm happy to have my favorite furry throw pillow, the snake plant that one of my student's gave me, my (way overpriced) earth tu face lip balm that smells heavenly, and my favorite Anthropologie slippers. These things DO make me happy. Sure, they don't compare to the humans and animals in my life. But I have the right to exercise a healthy appreciation for beautiful things, functional things, and things with meaning I choose to fill my home with.
In case you are wondering, I'll be in the bath tub tonight breathing in essential oils and reading the latest $20 issue of Domino magazine.